Congratulations, you’ve transitioned from a balding loser to a bald winner. You’ve caught up with a few friends and family members and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. All that remains is to post a new, bald and proud profile pic on your socials.
It’s a big step. Especially since (due to your recent accelerated balding) your current luxuriously locked pic is so old it has an ‘I stand with Paris’ frame around it. With these tips from our been-there-done-that-wish-they’d-done-it-better experts, you’ll get more buzz from your buzz cut than ever.
This is your party, chief. Get front and centre, look straight down the lens and flash those pearly whites. Don’t go too crazy with the eyes or they’ll think you shaved your hair off Britney-stylez.
It’s the powerplay. If you’re confident enough to break the social media ice with this style, you’ll be bulletproof.
When to use
You need a strong selfie game to pull this off. If it takes you more than a few tries to get something you like, move on. It’s not the fucking Archibald Prize.
Go The OFF Guard
A friend has snapped a pic of you at the right time int the right place in the right light and you look a million bucks.
You haven’t just posted a pic two minutes after shaving your hair off. You’ve been out and about, living your best bald life and from the looks of things you couldn’t be happier.
When to use
When you’ve got the material, obviously. It has to be authentic though – posed off-guard photos are a massive no no. Bonus points if you’re out in public.
Don’t be afraid to make fun of yourself. Maybe your partner is using your chrome dome as a mirror, or you’re polishing it with some Mr Sheen? Get creative and make the most of this golden opportunity.
Making fun of yourself disarms potential trolls before they can fire a shot. Besides, being confident enough to have fun with it shows you’ve got confidence in the new look you’re rocking.
When to use
If you’ve got a great idea that you can execute well, shoot for the moon. Just make sure your new-found baldness is still the hero of the piece and not relegated to the background.
Don’t Do This Under Any Circumstances
- Wear a hat (hair-hats included) to partially cover your head.
- Mention cancer unless you have it (there’s a reason we’re mentioning this – just don’t)
- Dress up like someone famous (people will think it’s just a costume).
- Chicken out. You’ve got this.