Holy Shit. Am I Going Bald?


If you’re reading this, we feel you.

We’ve been where you’re at right now; looking for answers and reassurance, a quick fix anything to make things make sense again.

First things first, take a deep breath and chill.

While you might be feeling singled out, Male Pattern Baldness affects hundreds of millions of blokes around the world every year. Sure, it happens to some earlier than others. But so do sun spots, wrinkles and saggy, ‘old-man balls’. At least with baldness, you can work with it to enhance your appearance and lift your confidence.

For the majority of us, by the time we notice we’re losing our hair, it’s been obvious to others for a while. But if you’ve caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and seen something unusual, it might be a false alarm.

Here are the most common things guys mistake for male pattern baldness:

Natural Ageing

Our bits don’t stay in the same place all our lives. The nose and ears keep growing, things lose tone and, during our 20s and 30s, our hairlines recede. But there’s a significant difference between a receded hairline and a receding hairline.

It’s natural for a hairline to recede a little. But it can sometimes stop there. Look around your family – if your dad, brothers, uncles and grandfathers have all their hair, chances are you’ll keep yours.


Still one of the weirdest descriptive names out there, the cowlick is a section of hair that runs in the opposite direction to the rest. You know, as if a cow licked it. A cowlick can give off the appearance of a receding hairline, but it’s really just a place where your hair naturally parts or will fall across. If you’re actually going bald, the hair around the cowlick will be thinning, as will the hair on your crown. Check out Cowlick or Balding for more information.

Hair Product

Gel, mousse, wax; sure, they make your hair look rad, but they also smoosh it into shapes and styles it doesn’t naturally want to be in. If not applied correctly by a professional who can see the top/back of your melon, your go-to ‘styling goop’ can lump clumps of your hair together. The space between these unnatural creations can give the effect that you’re going a bit thin. So, if you’re prone to sliding a bit of L.A.Looks Strong Hold through your scalp, maybe it’s time to rinse your head and try something else?

Telogen Effluvium

It might sound like a Scandinavian phone company, but it’s actually a lot more serious. Telogen is a form of temporary hair loss that is usually triggered by extreme stress or trauma. Large amounts of hair will release from the scalp during routine activities like brushing or washing. With Telogen Effluvium, hair will fall out from all sections of the scalp – not just the crown or forehead as it would with Male Pattern Baldness (androgenic alopecia). In time, the hair should return.

Head to our guide ‘4 Signs You Are Actually Balding’ for some more details.

If none of these answers feel like they apply to your situation, our best advice would be to see your GP. Srsly.

Self Help Tools

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Making the jump to a shaved or razor-sharp bald head is a big move, so getting an idea about how you would look bald is a great first step.